Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
