Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
