still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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