I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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