Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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