I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
