my mouth tastes like poor choices
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I need water and some morals
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
