Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
