just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
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