You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
