apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
