if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
