bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
