woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
