Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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