i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I party with great urgency now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
