why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize
