I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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