My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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