This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
