Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
