I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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