So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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