i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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