i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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