I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
