So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
