no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
