oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
