Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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