apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
