I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
