It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it's like iHOP with fire
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
