literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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