I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
