Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
wow bdsm is so cute
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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