OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
