white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
