Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
