I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
