Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Randomize
