its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
