I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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