i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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