found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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