When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
