Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
