would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
pop tarts are not kleenex
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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