a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
