Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
