Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
